Superhero Adventures, UK Style

With an involuntary start, Sam suddenly sat upright in the bed. Were he in human rather than his Dragonkin form he was sure he’d have been covered in sweat. As it was, his reinforced bed shuddered under the sudden strain of his involuntary reaction to his nightmare. Nightmare? As his night terrors faded from his now wakened mind, the only image that clung to his conscious thoughts was a single image that for some reason had filled him full of dread, yet now he was awake he had no idea why. That image had been of Annie standing over him as he’d slept.

That wasn’t right. How could Annie be a figure of terror? He’d suffered from nightmares and insomnia before, usually concerning his breakthrough, but not like this. Not like this and certainly not about her.

He glanced over to the other side of the emperor-sized bed he, no they’d, bought in the New Year’s sales and, as he expected, it was empty. Her side was cold and barely touched, as usual. Annie was off on her nocturnal’s again.  It wasn’t surprising; after all she didn’t need sleep like ordinary mortals but her lifestyle left a hole inside him, one he hadn’t experienced when there hadn’t been the possibility of physical intimacy between them.

Involuntarily, his mind drifted to his worries following her research on the Vault and Dakata, that perhaps Annie wasn’t working with them, him, because she wanted to but because it was connected somehow to the mysterious price she had to pay to gain a physical, if android body. If that was the case, she was playing her cards very close to her chest and he had to admit she had the best poker face going.

Her body felt human but for some reason it bothered him that when she made herself ‘flesh’ she’d chosen the form he’s holographically-sculpted to disguise the tin can chassis she’d had previously. When she first returned he’d been pleased that she’d decided to fashion herself after that image which matched his desires so well. Now, suddenly he wasn’t so sure.

He thought about himself for a moment. He’d had to chase, study and try for a long time to be able to revert back to a human form. It hadn’t been to gain a tactical advantage, it had been to strengthen his relationship with friends, family and of course with her – so maybe, sometimes, they could have some resemblance of a normal life. Usually, it was some kind of alien, yet pleasant pantomime, a facade. Maybe they weren’t so dissimilar after all. Trouble being, his changes were temporary and willed, hers were permanent…

His mind drifted for a second; maybe that was why so many metas banded and fought together so frequently, just for the feeling of belonging? He sighed.

Why did she have to craft herself after what he’d wanted, rather than what she herself wanted? What form would she have chosen if he hadn’t been in her life? She was far more independent than he was or likely ever will be so why did she care? His self-doubts resurfaced, as he again worried that maybe they’d rushed into this relationship too quickly, well-intended or not.

The idea of returning to sleep was now well and truly gone so he went over to his coffee machine and poured himself a big mug of thick, dark, sludge-like coffee and slowly inhaled it.

He then went and sat at their desk as he tried to work out in his own mind what had suddenly gone wrong between him and Annie. He wrapped his fingers round the woodwork, a stern, tired expression lining his face as he stared at the undecorated wall panels.

Ok, so she was distant or secretive about where she went when he was not around.  That also applied to her night time activities.

He assumed she was out on another of her mysterious missions for one of her P.I. clients. She’d stopped talking with him about her cases a couple of months back – just after she’d decided to ‘share’ details of a case in which she admitted that she had brutalised a prisoner who was already in custody. By the look on her face as she retold her tale, she’d thought that he would understand why she’d done what she’d felt she had to do, but he’d had to leave the room, wide-eyed and pale.

They’d argued about it before, she didn’t need to be a P. I., it wasn’t as if they needed the money. She argued that he didn’t need to be a HP-Active Meta, but he was. Touché.

In fairness that was on him. He’d always known some of her methods were effective but morally objectionable and in the end, he’d decided to adopt an ‘if you don’t know, you can’t object’ attitude to her work.

It was a decision he was coming to regret.

She did still share her cases with Jeeves and Adam, though. It had surprised him that such a peaceful soul as Adam never seemed to judge her. At least he never judged her as harshly as he did.

Sam realised that while time apart was essential in any relationship, what his partner did with her ‘free time’ shouldn’t be some great mystery; there was a difference between privacy and secrecy he realised.

It was a matter of scale, he supposed. He was just waiting for Marcus or Dispatch to call because of something involving her or to say she had been arrested. In a way, he was surprised it hadn’t happened yet, unless she was somehow manipulating the staff or system. That too was sort of to be expected with Annie involved.

“Too much secrecy can leave you feeling abandoned emotionally as well as physically, even when your partner is around,” he found himself saying to his mirrored image, “A relationship needs sharing and openness.”

He muttered, “So, where do you go to my lovely when you’re not sharing our bed?”

Then he thought about their relationship; the last time they’d been out as a couple had been the comic-con, but he’d used her like a crutch supporting his needs rather than as a friend or equal during those interviews and it hadn’t really been a proper date. Before that? A trip to the Endeavour to test out her ability to bypass the pub’s defences. If he was being honest, the last proper date together had been New Year’s Eve, six months ago.

He hadn’t thought to invite her to accompany them to Sierra Leone. Ok that had been arranged at very short notice by Jimmy the Fish and she’d a case she’d said she had to finish, but he should have invited her or even better delayed going until she could go with him. Possibly, even assist her to finish her case. He’d never once offered.

It’s all been sleeping together and work; sleep, work, sleep, work – repeat infinitum. That’s the trouble when you’re in a vocational lifestyle, rather than just in a clock-in clock-out job. Still, others they both knew didn’t seem to struggle as much as they had recently. If the others had noticed that they’re in trouble, they hadn’t mentioned it.

He didn’t help the situation, he acknowledged to himself that he hadn’t included her in his new media image – supposedly it was to protect her but he began to worry that perhaps there were other reasons for his decision. It’s not as though she was vulnerable. Had she wanted to she could have been a full member of the team but she didn’t. Not her style she had joked once when Jeeves had suggested she accompany them on a mission. She joked that she was the Calvary hiding behind the hill, just in case.

In truth, Sam was a little scared at exactly how capable and powerful Annie truly was, to the extent that if anything rocky did happen between them, that he might even fear for his own safety! And he was bulletproof! That’s no stable foundation for a relationship. Was it?

Their relationship had originally been one of kindred spirits, an association of the mind. It couldn’t be anything else whilst she’d been trapped inside the tin can, but then she’d reappeared, from where he still didn’t know, in a body that seemed like flesh, felt human even though he knew it wasn’t.

Maybe that was what it was, two people discovering who they really are, in time, together. People can grow apart after all.

Was that it? Did he fear infidelity? After all, she’d never suffer an STD or get pregnant in that body, no consequences to having an affair… Oh my god, was that it? Was it because she, they could never have a baby of their own?

They could adopt, but the Basement would be no place to raise a child, who would they get to babysit? Just more out-of-control risks.

He quickly changed the subject in his mind. He didn’t want to think about it. They’d been together for a while now, and she’s been working overtime on researching about this contract, perhaps the honeymoon period was over?

Did he still love her, still need her? Or was it that he needed someone because he didn’t want to be alone and she was the only person who accepted him 100% for who he was in both his human and Dragonkin forms? These are the twilight hours of being honest with yourself, Sam, he had thought to himself.

He suddenly remembered something he’d read, “It’s a problem if one or both partners provoke arguments and then look for reasons to not forgive the other,” she said. “What makes it worse is when the inability to forgive is followed by a refusal to discuss the issue further.”

Was that him?

He switched on his computer and looked at his calendar. His next public gig, with Akira, was a visit to Claremont Academy in a couple of days’ time; an assembly talk in front of the  full school where they talked about helping people followed by a couple of sessions in the special training facility. Maybe he should invite her to come along, or even better participate?

Maybe he needed to stop being such a pain and started helping her more, not as Young Sam but as her partner Sam Meyers, his human identity. Akira wasn’t exactly that involved in the business, not anymore – it seemed to have been a fad with him, nothing more. He rarely attended and left all of the cases to Annie and Frankie to deal with on their own these days.

Maybe she was concerned that she herself was a passing fad? Maybe she was just distancing to protect herself. She read all the fan mail we get, and Sam had been doing a lot of PR recently with all of this nonsense regarding Carpathia. It wasn’t his fault the presenters dressed provocatively, flirted as they asked personal questions. It was for the viewers! It was all explained to him!

Or did he want this relationship to break up? He had to admit there was an element of self-destruction inside him. This was evident in his response to the call of action; he was consistently acting recklessly on mission for entertainment, rather than taking the most efficient, effective and obvious options to end the conflict.

He sighed, as he rested his palm against his forehead. He felt heavy, sluggish and that his torso was aching with a deep phantom pain. He had to do something, but what – it wasn’t entirely clear, as is usual with matters of the heart.

Even if they did include each other more in each other’s work, would it solve anything, or just cause a more irreparable rift between them? Ignorance was no excuse.

He knew he loved her, otherwise, he wouldn’t be feeling so emotionally involved in all this. They’d been through so much and fought very hard for what they did have, unless he was thinking about all the issues too intensely? He shook his head.

Maybe it was time to share exactly what they want out of everything. He crossed his fingers. Maybe it was time to see if they’re destined to be true partners, rather than lovers.

He flopped down onto the bed, and started tapping a message out on his tablet, the little typing sound echoing in the midnight silence. He was so engrossed in his typing that he failed to hear the door open as Annie quietly entered and looked over his shoulder as he typed.