T’was the night before Christmas and all through the BASEment
Nothing was stirring to Jeeves’ great amazement.
He’d spent all day stuffing and spooning and squirting,
And peeled so many veg that his arms were still hurting.
Now, dressed as Santa, he crept round the base
Leaving presents for Sam, Akira and Mace,
For Adam and Banshee and young and old Mary
In a suit of bright red that was both gay and scary.
And when he had finished he sat down with a port,
And sipping it said “Merry Christmas old sport.”
By Mike G.
Next morning, everyone assembled in the lounge. There was a lot of welcoming back’s, but before they got to the presents Mary and Akira said they had some announcements they wanted to make.
Akira explained he hadn’t bought anyone any presents as he had given all his money to the children’s charity that had hoped to benefit from Sir Stephen before his change of mind and hoped no-one would mind.
Everyone agreed that was in the true spirit of Christmas. He also took the opportunity to explain that he has once more renounced all worldly possessions and was reconsidering his other former vows.
As a result he has made everyone’s present this year. For Mary he has transcribed a Led Zeppelin classic so it could be played on the harp. For Sam he’d made a working volcano as they do in science classes and he’d baked a cake for everyone else to share, and as a tribute to Mace he didn’t hold back on the garlic (which in the recipe substituted a different spice altogether, nutmeg, but that can get you high and he was definitely abstaining from all intoxicants.)
For some reason the cake still remained uneaten at the end of the day.
Mary went next.
She explained that she also hadn’t bought anyone gifts. Instead she and Jeeves were hosting a big traditional Christmas feast in the crypt of the nearby Martyr on the Hill Church for the residents of Container town and as many BASEment folk as wanted to join in.
Jeeves had arranged caterers and the meal would consist of lots of roast goose, turkey and vegetables (plus lavish vegetarian and vegan options), mince pies, trifle and puddings, all sorts of wine and beer and soft drinks, crackers, paper hats, the full works.
Jeeves had been busy putting up an “almost” magical Christmas tree and decorations in their absence and there would be lots of singing, music and party-games to follow, leading up to the traditional supper of left-overs, pickles and sandwiches (and yet more sweets).
In addition, Mary planned to use her subtle harp-work to hopefully contain the more disorderly elements…
Again, everyone applauded even after she explained that they might need disguises (or Maces case going without one) with Akira growing some illusionary hair and Sam demonstrating that he could now turn back into his human form for several hours at a stretch. This was so much more comfortable than Mary’s original suggestion that they fabricate a suit of armour so he could go in a costume. She accepted that he would be the only one in a costume if he did.
Mace apologised about not being aware of the exchange of gift tradition as it hadn’t been something they’d done growing up and Annie explained that the joy for the team was in the giving not the receiving.
It fell to Sam to explain he had some presents he wanted to give out as he now loved Christmas. He handed out his presents, with Mikey getting a complete set of Robot Wars DVDs, Adam a racing experience weekend , Jeeves a portrait of the visiting alien corgi and for Annie a bouquet of Roses he’d originally planned to leave beside Pseudo-Annie and a camera. Adam handed her the Sam plush doll he’d brought back from Israel to screams of glee.
For Sam’s team members he’d got Akira a copy of “how to win friends and influence people”, Mary a pass to her favourite whiskey distillery and Mace tickets to a hypnotist show in London.
He’d also bought numerous gifts for the others such as a Best Policeman mug and aviator glasses for Marcus and Superintendent Cunningham and some signed darts for jack that he planned to drop off after Christmas.
Everyone else then exchanged gifts with Mikey having made most of hers; such as a hand carved pipe for Mary, an automated back scratcher for Sam and a hand carved Hanukkah Menorah for Akira – when asked why, she explained that she thought Steadman was a Jewish name. The best gifts were a gaydar device for Adam that would only activate when Tony walked in to the room and a teacher tracker for Bethany that used their staff ID badges to track their GPS locations in school; an online marauders map for Claremont Academy in effect.
Adam had put together a family photo album for Sam with the subtle “Call them” engraved across the front. He’d two gifts for Akira, though after Akira’s announcement about renewing his vows he swiftly kicked the larger of the two packages under the sofa meaning to pick it up later and only gave him the other one; a personal horoscope. He then handed Jeeves a new set of lock picks.
Mace received an experimental tracker head he had developed. Mikey and Annie had quickly designed and built an interface for her wrist computer that allowed her direct access in the field to her A.I., Pseudo Annie.
Somehow, Annie’d tracked down a picture, shot on this world of a Mary with her two nephews taken before their incarceration. Mary knew it wasn’t her but appreciated the thought all the same. She’d also found a picture in the papers Akira had brought back from the cottage but have never gone through, of his parents holding a very young Akira; on the back it read two days after his birth and the name Baby Ray. This was the first time he’d discovered what his parents had planned to name him.
It was time to head to the Church. Mary stood at the door to personally greet each of the residents of Container Town and the other guests. She almost failed to recognise young Ace, now with her hair grown out and dressed in fashionable clothes. She’d moved away after the near attack in the park to a flat paid for by Mary and Jeeves and now had a job. Her life recovered, she hugged both of them and thanked them for believing in her.
It was another guest who really shocked Mary though; Jimmy Gordon who’d left shortly after his confrontation with Banshee in the Junk yard and subsequently had booked himself in to a detox clinic and had managed to clean up his act. Jeeves had met him in the park looking for work and had put his in touch with someone looking for a labourer. He started work in the New Year and when he returned to thank Jeeves had been invited for Christmas dinner as, “no-one deserves to spend Christmas alone…”
The party lasted for hours with good cheer overflowing. Akira even persuaded Mary to try out his gift, a new song for her repertoire and insisted everyone join in singing “There’s a lady so old that her teeth are all gold…”
Superhero Adventures, UK Style 