Superhero Adventures, UK Style

By Mike G.

The full-sized pool table was collected from the suppliers by Adam personally. While Mikey was busy instructing the ‘dwarves’ in their daily tasks and personally ‘instructing’ cables and conduits to complete their purpose by flowing and distributing themselves throughout the BASEment, he had the ‘urgent’ task of making sure the table was properly installed downstairs. Having wrestled the slate top down last, he then spent the next thirty minutes making sure the table was perfectly flat and properly situated in the Recreation Room and promising himself he’d get a game in before the day was over, he left to help Annie and Mikey to set up the security network and connect it to the hybrid hotchpotch of a computer system that Annie called Frankie… Later, promise.

———-

Akira knew that Annie was out of bounds. First of all there was his vow of celibacy. Poverty and humility were relative terms. Everyone who had food and shelter in this messed-up world could be considered rich and who amongst us is truly humble. But chastity, well that was an absolute. No such thing as half-way pregnant or a recovering virgin – right? But he was still drawn to her.

And then there was Sam. Annie and Sam obviously got along, but was there a sub-text? They shared certain characteristics; more than average height, thick-skinned and an almost child-like acceptance of their freakish appearance.

Not that how Annie looked put him off at all. Akira wasn’t that shallow. He could see beneath the titanium and circuit boards and see beyond the two metre tall stature; see right through to her vulnerable, ingenious soul. No, appearance wasn’t a problem and anyway he’d had an idea.

The ‘illusions of Idolon’ was a powerful spell. It could produce a sustained perception affecting all of the senses. It could also be targeted to affect only one person; Akira had never before had occasion to use it on himself. Earlier that day he’d challenged Annie to a game of Pool in the games room (twister might have been more obvious, although possibly more fun!)

At first he had told himself that his idea was all about levelling the playing field. It was hard not to feel intimidated by the sheer presence of a woman that tall. He wanted to impress her by winning the game after all.

But then he had found himself considering making small adjustments to the colour of her eyes, the tilt of her breasts. He had decided to go all-out. He would let his subconscious have full rein and paint, for his senses only, the Annie he really wanted to see.

As the door began to open Akira muttered the ancient words “Welwch HI!” and into the room stepped his heart’s desire.

“Hi Akira” said Annie is a husky voice, “I hope you’ll go easy on me. This is my first time.”

Akira had promised to teach Annie the rules as they went along. Now he wasn’t sure he would be able to remember them. He had been prepared to see, smell and hear a quintessence of loveliness. Sure enough the vision that had entered the room had been preceded by the most intoxicating aromas followed by a voice that could melt chocolate. What he hadn’t been prepared for was that his burgeoning libido would decide it best to present a much shorter Annie without a stitch of clothing,

“Shall we start” she said “I’ve brought my own stick.” “Cue” stammered Akira “It’s called a cue.”

Akira resolved never again to use the ‘Illusions of Idolon’ on himself or anyone he cared about. It was a powerful spell. Throughout the five frames of pool he had tried to tell himself that what he was seeing wasn’t real.

“This isn’t happening” he said. “I’m sorry” said Annie “I have a good understanding of trajectory, velocity and mathematics. Perhaps you’ll win the third game?” “No, I mean… Forget it.”

But that was the point, he had forgotten it. He had cast a spell and now thought the magic was entirely due to Annie herself. Even when he’d said to himself “this isn’t real”, it was as if a teenager was saying it to himself on a first date with the hottest girl in school.

And Annie was hot and so was Akira but his pool wasn’t and that’s why she’d trounced him; given him a ‘tin-hat’ as they’d say back in Wales. Five-nothing.

He wouldn’t have minded being beaten by a woman, even one that had never played before. Alright he would! But what got him was that he’d played like a three-thumbed idiot. This, he reasoned, was all due to the spell. It was a bit like the effect created on the mind by stage hypnotists. Part of your brain knew you were standing on a chair, flagging your arms, but mostly it knew you were a rooster.

It created a confusion, Akira had read that was quite detrimental to the brain and that’s why he’d lost. His brain had been fighting against itself. So how would he have been expected to perform in front of the most beautiful and voluptuous woman he had ever seen?

He had never seen a woman naked before either and that may have been a contributing factor. Considering the effects of gravity, inertia and transferred momentum had proved problematic, to say the least. Not to mention angles. Being a gentleman Akira had tried to find the best position to view each shot when Annie bent over the table. For most of the time this had been a three –quarter profile from the front. But now as she left the room having roundly humiliated him he was glad to see the back of her.

As the spell naturally dissipated, he thought yes he would never again use this spell on himself. However, he found himself thinking, what harm would it do to play a little prank on Sam?

At that point the door to the games room reopened and Adam popped his head around.

“I think Annie’s on her way down here” he said, “perhaps you’ll do better against her; no hard feelings eh?”

Ah well, thought Akira, at least he hadn’t revealed his rather obvious sexual interest to Annie. So no harm there then.

———-

As he was setting up the table for another game, Mary walked in having  just returned from Dublin and Akira assumed she wanted to tell them what she’d found out but no sooner had she arrived and  started to greet him when she suddenly stopped in mid-sentence and stared hard at Akira; her head slightly tilted as though reading him. This uncomfortable examination lasted for about 30 seconds and neither spoke. Then as Annie rushed through the door, Mary turned her back on Akira and said to Annie “I’m sorry Annie, perhaps you can play another time. I’d like to speak to you urgently about the base security.” She turned and Akira could have sworn her tone turned frosty and cutting; “Akira, I think you need a shower, cold preferably, then please join us for a debrief of the last couple of days.”